Cypress Falls

This weekend we visited a place known as Cypress Creek! In traditional settler fashion, it was named after a natural feature the place once had right up until the point when my people arrived (at which point we promptly destroyed it). In this case the feature in question was thousands of old-growth Nootka Cypress trees, a sub-variety of the almighty cedar.

I gather this valley was logged indiscriminately during the early part of 20th century, which means no truly-big trees remain here; but eventually some conservationists managed to secure its status as a protected public park, and that’s why we can walk today amidst newer & smaller but still very nice flora.

From 1918 to about 1923 there was a sawmill nearby, commissioned by this capitalist dude named Nasmyth. Its purpose was to make and sell roofing materials according to the following process:

First they chose a nicely-maintained yet supposedly-abandoned patch of forest in the area we named ‘Cypress’. Then they sought out every big/old enough tree they could reach, cutting it down and splitting its trunk into large chunks of rough timber. They’d send each chunk down the mountain along a human-made waterslide called a “flume”, which they supplied using water from nearby streams. At the bottom of this flume stood the sawmill, and inside the sawmill they had a large industrial machine (which was also water-powered!) plus a workforce that knew how to use it very quickly. These workers would split the rough timber into smaller standardized pieces called “shingle bolts”, then they’d send each bolt down yet another waterslide (towards a second mill at the base of the mountain that’d cut the bolts into individual roofing shingles).

Owing to that era’s temporary abundance of extremely-old cedar that people could cut down in any quantity for any reason (an abundance that’d last for maybe 2 decades), these nice cedar roofing shingles were fantastically affordable. And in some sense that affordability is where Vancouver’s much-talked-about ‘neighborhood character’ actually comes from (as well as the ‘neighborhood character’ of countless other places, since a good number of these roof shingles got loaded into box cars and shipped far away).

This kind of tree grows slowly enough that our 20th century style of house building could never be sustained; there simply isn’t enough of this wood at a low enough price point (nor is there enough of this wood even at a very high price point). I think it’s safe to say that no one on this planet will pay so little money for such good cedar ever again.

The creek at which Nasmyth built this mill didn’t wind up flowing consistently enough to keep the machinery running, and so the gang had to work out an ingenious system of canals that could divert water from numerous other sources at different times of the year. But even so, the operation proved too difficult to continue past its fifth year: between the high cost of hauling shit up/down the mountain plus dealing with 7-12 feet of winter snow, primary sources suggest that the operation swiftly became more trouble than it was worth.

At that point some Scandinavian guys would encounter the remains of the mill and repurpose it to create the area’s first ski lodge (though they had to disassemble the building and carry its pieces further up the mountain to a spot where, in the 20th century at least, we used to get very deep snow). I believe this winter our city received zero snowfall for the first time 40 years… so I guess one could say that as settlers, we continue to really make a difference here on Cypress Mountain.

I also read a memoir in which this 1930s guy built a log cabin near the site of the Nasmyth mill and actually reclaimed some of the nice wooden planks from the abandoned flume as part of the process (he used them as building materials for the cabin… good cedar planks never remain idle for long). He said that in the ’30s there were numerous people just sorta going up the mountain, knocking down a few of the remaining huge-ass trees, and then erecting a log cabin next to a bunch of other recently-made cabins. His was the last generation of settlers able to do anything like that.

This guy noted that he experienced a LARGE number of bear encounters while living up there, but that he only met a mountain lion once.

If you hike just beyond the terminus point of the official Cypress Falls Trail you can glimpse a particularly-massive waterfall in the distance. There’s a rock formation at its base that to me resembles the face of an old man:

Here’s a portrait of me on this day, as captured by Lanna:

The Hero of Time

What can we read into a period of silence?

I mean a period of voluntary non-communication from a person or character: a period during which some speaker declines to speak, or a signer declines to sign, or a text chatter declines to type. What meaning can be found within their conscious act of signalling nothing?

I find that when a signaler is present—a person, let’s say—but the signal itself is absent, it creates a kind of vacuum: an induced need to fill the gap in semantic reality that this person’s silence creates. There’s some part of me that needs to know what their mind is doing; it seeks to glean their thoughts & feelings even in cases where they’re emitting practically no information. (And if I don’t feel I’m able to glean anything, it makes me kind of worried.)

Psychologists call this an act of ‘mentalizing’, and for better or worse I’ve spent a disproportionate amount of my life learning to do it. Everybody does it, to some degree. We do it as part of “sympathy”, as well as “empathy”. We do it as part of “cunning” too, and for that matter as part of “sadism”. All these things require us to imagine another person’s mind even when we can never directly observe it.

As humans we’re very good at this; so good, in fact, that we don’t even need other brains around us in order to imagine the presence of other minds. We can imagine the mind of a statue, or a mountain, or a group of stars in the sky. All we have to do is take bits & pieces from our own experience (memories, feelings, tendencies, qualities) and lend those to some Other as a way of imagining what its point of view could be.

Game enthusiasts like me will even do this with 16×16 arrangements of pixel art:

Pictured: 41 green pixels, 75 dark brown pixels, 61 light brown pixels

This essay is about Link, the 10 year old protagonist from Legend of Zelda (1987). He’s one of the first videogame characters I ever saw on a screen; and I met him back when I was the same age as him, so in some sense I guess I’ve always regarded him as a peer.

Link is known for being a ‘silent protagonist’, and I related to that aspect a lot when I was a kid. I related not only to his silence, but also to his suffering in silence: the gravity of his task, the danger of his world, the difficulty of what he undergoes. I related to Link’s battles against Lynels because I guess you could say I lived across the hallway from a Lynel. He’s the person who showed me these Zelda games in the first place.

Recalling our Understanding Comics, we could say that Link’s silence creates a kind of ‘closure’: a gap the writer has created within the world of the story. A narrative ‘closure’ works as follows: The green-clothed kid on the TV screen looks human—or at least like some kind of elf—so it stands to reason that he’s probably thinking & feeling something about all the various ordeals he keeps going through. Yet the game avoids ever specifying what it is he thinks or feels, leaving players free to fill that empty space using whatever is in our heads (and in some sense we’re even required to fill the space, since our perception of the storyworld as a continuous thing depends on our injecting meaning & detail into whatever closures we encounter).

We could further say that in being a closure, Link’s silence comes to function like a mirror: It both invites and depends upon imagination as a primary mode of perception, which means any interpretation I make of his silence will emerge not from Link’s head but from mine (and thus the more I try describing Link to you, the more I’ll be describing myself).

It says a lot about me, I think, that I’ve never actually seen Link as a happy kid embarking on some wholesome adventure to save the world. Instead I see a kid who’s being made to carry a heavy burden alone. He’s left to wander in a world filled with monsters, and populated only by old folks hiding in caves. He’s enduring violence at every turn, and he’s doing it because on some level this is what everyone expects him to do: It’s his duty, apparently, to get killed by monsters over and over again in a quest to save everyone around him from the kind of violence that is currently happening to him.

When I was 10 it felt entirely seemly for a Link killed in battle to lie mangled by the Lynel’s spear; in his death (and subsequent resurrection at 3 hp), all things appeared fair.

Pictured: A Blue Lynel

Now I’m 36, and I’ve spent two decades struggling with the memories & feelings I have from that time. I’ve tried avoiding & repressing them, which worked until it didn’t. I’ve tried remaining silent about them, but it turns out that makes me really unhappy. I don’t think you can contain these sorts of memories & feelings forever. You’re gonna wind up seeing them every time you look in a mirror—or for that matter, every time you perceive a period of silence—and so eventually I decided it was time to just write the feelings out.

I’ve structured this essay as a multi-part quest. You’ll begin this quest in the Overworld before seeking out three dungeons, each of which will question your courage in a different way. If you’re brave enough to make it through those you’ll emerge at the site of the fabled Temple of Time, whereupon you can discover the mythical Point of This Essay (though if you know anything about my writing style, reader, it’s liable to be well hidden indeed).

Content warning for childhood trauma and scenes of violence. Proceed with care, reader… if you are able.

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Plato’s Caving

“Plato’s caving” is the process of gradually dissociating certain knowledge one has about how a show was put together in order to immerse oneself further inside the show itself.

By ‘show’ I mean just about anything: movies, music, videogames, social media feeds. A ‘show’ could be a plate of breakfast sausages, or the people walking past you in the park while you’re seated at a bench. In Plato’s original allegory of the cave he imagines a sort of prehistoric cinema (a procession of different shadow puppets projected onto a cave wall using hidden light sources, such that there are no visible human operators and the figures seem to move on their own).

By ‘dissociating certain knowledge’ I mean reacting to a situation as if certain facts about it were somehow disconnected from it. People do this all the time—especially when they’re taking in a show—because a bit of plato’s caving makes the show a little better. Many fun & interesting experiences involve a certain forgetting of reality, and we have a bunch of different words for it: ‘suspending disbelief’, ‘roleplaying’, ‘getting into the spirit’, ‘losing yourself in the moment’. It’s a fundamental aspect of storytelling, and for there to be a ‘show’ some degree of it must happen.

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Mixtape: The Labour & The Shame

My newest mixtape is entitled “The Labour & The Shame”; for me it was a way to process the feelings I have about working in the videogame industry. Side ‘L’ imagines the PoV of labourers: It’s full of reminders to protect yourself whilst creating art for money (and reminders about why we sought out creative work in the first place). Side ‘S’ imagines, often from a first person PoV, the class of executives & boss guys from whom we need protection… you know the ones.

Running all through this mixtape are tracks from Gentle Giant’s “The Power & The Glory”, which is a concept album about how power reveals things. I’ve been listening to it a lot lately! In the ‘seeking power’ stage, the antihero of this record cloaks themself in altruism (paying lip service to whatever ideals their community wants them to have); but later, in the ‘having power’ stage, the actions they take begin revealing that special sort of villainy that we can locate within executives or politicians etc.

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Tk’emlúps 2022: BC Wildlife Park

We spent a few hours this month wandering around “BC Wildlife Park”, which is a rehabilitation centre for orphaned and injured wildlife (that tries very hard never to call itself a “zoo” lol). In this place you can find several of the largest organisms on the whole planet, including these rescued grizzlefriends Dawson and Knute:

My FAVE grizzly pic from the set is this one, where they’re both hanging out:

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Greenways, Bridges, Water & Trails

On a bicycle you can go just about anywhere in the lower mainland! Most of the dedicated paths run along rivers, lakes & old railway lines (or else beneath newish skytrain lines). These ones are from a variety of water bodies north from the river where I live:

And THESE ones are all from the north bank of stal̓əw̓ itself:

Lastly, here’s a picture of me:

ʔəleqsən

We visited the ‘George C. Reifel Migratory Bird Sanctuary’ at ʔəleqsən last weekend! One thing that happened was that this adventurous red-winged blackbird landed on my friend Kim:

But really that was only the START of the bird-related activity. This time of year we were privileged to chill with this sandhill crane, one of the biggest/weirdest birds in the region:

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FFH 331

Some navy people were hanging out at Lonsdale Quay today, answering questions & offering tours of their big-ass Halifax-class frigates. One’s called “The HMCS Vancouver (FFH 331)”, and it’s got a little orca on the side. The other one’s called the “HMCS Winnipeg (FFH 338)” and it’s got a little buffalo.

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